Family Law 4 Kids: A Toolkit Designed by Children to Help Them Navigate Family Court

For many children, the family law process itself can be more distressing than their parents’ separation. That’s the central finding behind new research from Southern Cross University’s Associate Professor Georgina Dimopoulos, who has spent more than 15 years studying how children experience family law proceedings.

Her latest project, the Family Law 4 Kids toolkit, is believed to be Australia’s first co-designed resource of its kind, built not for children, but with them.

A Toolkit Built With Young People Who Have Lived Through the System

After interviewing 41 children and young people aged 10 to 19, Dimopoulos worked with them to co-create videos, animations and practical resources explaining children’s right to participate in decisions about their own lives. The toolkit, launched in October by then National Children’s Commissioner Anne Hollands, also includes guidance for family law practitioners and parents.

“What inspired me to do this line of work was studying family law and children’s rights at uni as a law student,” Dimopoulos said. “I just find the complexity of human relationships is just so challenging, and we haven’t been able to overcome this tension between protecting children from their parents’ conflict and making sure they can participate and have a say in decisions about their lives.”

Why Children Say They Feel Unheard in Family Dispute Resolution and Court Processes

The research found that many children experienced the legal process itself as more traumatic than the breakdown of their family.

Some described feeling that their views were treated as a box-ticking exercise, rather than something that genuinely influenced the outcome.

This highlights an important distinction between simply asking children for their views and ensuring they feel meaningfully heard. Children should not be responsible for making decisions, but they may benefit from understanding how their views will be considered.

“Chinese Whispers” – How Children’s Views Get Lost

Several children used the term “Chinese whispers” to describe how their concerns were passed from one adult to another, with the substance of what they had said becoming diluted or lost.

The research also found that some children did not understand enough about the process, including who would hear their views, what would happen next and whether their input had made a difference.

Clear, age-appropriate communication is therefore an important part of helping children participate safely.

When Children Feel Unheard, They May Stop Following Court Orders

The consequences of feeling unheard can extend beyond frustration.

The research suggests that some children may resist parenting arrangements because they believe their concerns were not considered during the process. This can make arrangements harder to maintain and contribute to further family conflict.

While children should not determine the outcome of a family law matter, the findings show that the way decisions are reached can matter alongside the final result.

Supporting Practitioners, Not Just Children

The toolkit is also designed for family lawyers, judges, mediators and family dispute resolution practitioners.

Many professionals involved in the research reported lacking confidence when engaging directly with children, often because they feared causing further distress or did not know how to begin.

Child-inclusive mediation and other child-inclusive practices can provide a structured way to bring a child’s perspective into the process without placing the burden of decision-making on them.

These approaches will not be suitable in every case, particularly where there are safety concerns, family violence or high levels of conflict.

A Broader Push for Children’s Rights in Family Law

Dimopoulos has since been awarded an Australian Research Council 2026 Discovery Early Career Researcher Award for a three-year study developing trauma-informed frameworks for children involved in family court proceedings concerning domestic violence.

The project extends the work behind Family Law 4 Kids into cases involving particularly vulnerable children.

It also reflects a broader shift in family law: recognising that protecting children and allowing them to participate are not opposing goals.

What This Means for Families

For separating parents, the research is a reminder that how a child experiences the legal process may matter just as much as the outcome.

A child-inclusive approach can help children understand what is happening, express their concerns safely and feel that their perspective has been properly considered, without making them responsible for adult decisions.

Families concerned about a child’s participation or wellbeing may benefit from seeking advice from practitioners experienced in child-focused family law processes.