Parents: Take care of yourself

The first safety instruction for an airplane emergency is to put the oxygen mask on yourself before you put it on your child. When it comes to helping your kids through your divorce and separation , the take home message is: take care of yourself so that you can be there for your kids.

Coping with your divorce or breakup

The breakup of a relationship can trigger all sorts of painful and unsettling emotions. As well as grieving the loss of your relationship, whether it was your choice or not, you may feel confused, isolated, and fearful about the future. By learning how to cope and manage with the pain of a separation or divorce in healthy ways, you’ll be better able to stay calm and help your kids feel more at ease.

Exercise often and eat a healthy diet. Exercise helps relieve stress and frustration that’s commonplace with separation. And although cooking at home (or learning to cook for one) involves more effort than ordering in, eating healthfully will make you feel better, inside and out—so skip the junk and convenience food.

See friends often. It may be tempting to isolate and avoid seeing friends and family who will inevitably ask about the divorce—but the reality is that communication and support from others is vital for relieving the stress of a breakup and getting you through this difficult time. If you don’t want to talk about your breakup, just ask friends to avoid the topic; they’ll understand. Remember the COVID 19 restrictions and use social media/facetime/skype.

Keep a journal. Writing down your feelings, thoughts, and moods can help you release tension, sadness, and anger. As time passes, you can look back on just how far you’ve come.

Seek support

At the very least, divorce is complicated and stressful—and can be devastating without support.

Lean on friends – Talk with friends or a support group about any difficult emotions you’re feeling—such as bitterness, anger, frustration—so you don’t take it out on your kids. If you’ve neglected your social circle while being married and don’t feel you have anyone to confide in, it’s never too late to  build new friendships or reconnect with old friends.

Never vent negative feelings to your child – Whatever you do, do not use your child to talk it out like you would with a friend.

Keep laughing – Try to inject humour and fun into your life and the lives of your children as much as you can; it can relieve stress and give you all a break from sadness and anger.

See a Counsellor – If you are feeling intense anger, fear, grief, shame, or guilt, find a professional to help you work through those feelings. In the current COVID 19 situation phone or skype appointments are still available. Your GP can refer you to an appropriate professional. In the current circumstances you can still access your GP over Skype- check with your surgery. 

Seek legal advice. It is important to obtain legal advice to help guide a separation or divorce where there are  parenting and property considerations and there is no agreement. Contact NLS Law and we can assist you to navigate different legal pathways and develop strategies to assist you with parenting arrangements   Ph 49276315 or office@nlslaw.com.au

If you want to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion”

Dalai Lama

Chanel Hughes yo. , Child & Family Consultant – NLS Law